


Use and Abuse

by notebookthief



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, TW: drinking, a relationship between the two of them would look like, also they do the sex but it isn't explicitly described so, doing a brief exploration of what i thought, however this is literally a fic of me, so here u go, there is no physical abuse in this, tw: abuse, tw: drunkenness, tw: emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:37:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3527966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notebookthief/pseuds/notebookthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama knows this isn't healthy, but he'll keep coming back.<br/>edit: there is now a sequel called Cease and Assist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Use and Abuse

Kageyama’s joints are sore, his back is tensed, and he has a blinding headache.

He stumbles out of bed, and swears because his ass fucking _hurts,_ but he bears through it to get some tylenol and water. Oikawa is still sleeping, but Kageyama makes no effort to be quiet - he gives himself a while to rest and make sure he’s okay to get back to his apartment, pulls on his clothes, and leaves. 

He doesn’t bother leaving a note. When Oikawa wants him, he’ll call. He always does, never more than a few weeks later, acting like this was normal and healthy and fine. They both know it’s not. 

He never really feels used when he leaves in the morning. Sometimes in bed he does - if Oikawa says someone else’s name, or doesn’t look at him, or is too violent, he feels like a replacement. He figures he’s just as much to blame for this mess as Oikawa - he never refuses the offers. 

They’ve been on dates before, but they never ended well. They all ended with passive aggressive jabs, or arguments, once a screaming match. He knows Oikawa doesn’t love him, doesn’t even like him. All he does is want. 

He gets the expected phone call four days later (soon, he thinks, too soon), and Oikawa’s voice is sultry and sickly sweet. The call is short, like always, and Kageyama’s answer is reflexive. 

“What time do you want me there?” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Oikawa is surprisingly pleasant opening the door, and also a little tipsy. 

“Welcome, Tobio-chan! Can I get you something to drink?” 

“Whatever you’re having is fine.” 

He’s handed a mixed drink and sips on it. Oikawa drinks his too fast. 

They don’t speak for a while. They don’t bother with chatter anymore, and it takes them a while to open up about personal life. Kageyama wonders if that’s why Oikawa is drinking tonight. He hopes he gets something out of it. 

It takes at least an hour before Oikawa is sufficiently drunk, eyes going glassy and steps uncertain. He clings to Kageyama, who leads him to the bedroom and forces him onto the bed, partially to get things moving and partially because he doesn’t want to deal with puke. 

Oikawa does not take the hint. “Iwa-chan’s moving away,” he mumbles. 

Kageyama doesn’t answer. He doesn’t voice his surprise and disappointment to the news, nor does he offer comfort - that’s not his job. 

“He said it’s because of his job, because they’re transferring him, but I know better. He’s sick of me.” 

_Ah,_ Kageyama thinks. _Now I know why I’m here._

His thoughts are confirmed when Oikawa’s warm hands find their way onto his skin. His eyes are unfocused - Kageyama wonders if he’s thinking of Iwaizumi now, imagining he’s touching him and not Kageyama, or if this is just to cope. 

“But you won’t leave, right Tobio-chan?” he slurs as he takes off Kageyama’s shirt, dragging hot fingers and lips down, sucking on bruises he’s already made. He doesn’t answer. Oikawa whispers commands to him, and he follows them without thought. He is praised each time, making shivers run down him, making him cling just a bit harder, a bit longer to Oikawa. 

“You can’t leave me,” he says into his skin. Kageyama barely hears him, too focused on the pleasure he’s being given. “You won’t ever get past me, Tobio-chan. You won’t surpass me. You’ll always be right here, right underneath me.” 

Kageyama can’t think properly, can’t process the words, mind hazed with alcohol and sex. Oikawa marks him while he fucks him, hard and slow, nails digging into his skin and scratching red lines. 

When they finally collapse, Oikawa snoring in his drunken stupor, Kageyama finally understands what dirty feels like.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry please don't hate me


End file.
